BEST PILLOWS TO CRY INTO (IN YOUR THIRTIES!)

If you’re anything like me, you cry a lot. If you’re nothing like me, you probably still cry a lot because the world is terrible. As I round the corner to 32, passing the “Dangerous Curve Ahead” sign with reckless abandon, I find myself wanting to improve my home essentials. You know, a sort of grown-upgrade, if you will (and you will).

Last year (or perhaps the year before, time is a social construct), I upgraded my bath towels to a 100% plush cotton style. One of the easiest ways to feel rich is to buy a nice towel from the clearance rack and walk out of your bathroom with it wrapped around your shoulders. Add fuzzy slippers and men are going to start assuming you run a magazine.

Anyway, with the towels already at their absolute peak, I knew it was time to finally upgrade the home accessory I use the most: Pillows!

HIGHS AND PILLOWS

I use my pillows for two different things: Sleeping, and crying. And, since I’m typically sleeping through the hours I spend asleep, I only really know which pillows I prefer to cry on. So, in my quest to upgrade my pillows, I thought I’d list some of my favorites for you!

I cry into my pillows for myriad reasons. Frustration, anger, sadness, anger, and frustration. I need a lot of cushion, and a lot of flexibility for when I fold my arms around it during a particularly strong sob. Not to mention, I need something sturdy. Pillows take punches almost as well as they take tears, and I’m taking that into consideration too.

I visited this website to begin my search, and boy oh boy, do I have thoughts. Let’s get into it!

Kittens cry too

DOWN WITH THE THICKNESS 

The best and thickest pillow on the site is called the Luxury Bamboo Pillow. Now, it got a really high rating for thickness, which is obviously important for absorbing tears. It’s also ideal for burying your face in it. According to the website, it’s also very flexible for maximum support. As I stated before, flexibility is important for those really bad days when your whole body is crying. I give it a solid 10/10.

Of course, not every pillow is a winner on this list. The Memory Foam Pillow seems to leave a lot to be desired. It doesn’t score very high on the softness list like the others do, and it apparently also sports a bad odor. Gross! Imagine taking a deep relaxing breath into something that smells bad. Not a good way to cry at all. Not to mention, the foam apparently gets hard over time. I need a soft surface to cry on, that’s why I use pillows. If I wanted to cry on something hard, I’d cry on my past choices. At least it boasts flexibility, but at this point, does it matter?

Lame

Okay, those are the two I’m talking about. You didn’t really expect me to talk about more than 2 pillows, did you? There’s one more piece to this puzzle. What, exactly, are you going to dress your number one cry pillow in?

SHEET TO CONSIDER

The answer is simple, and the answer is silk. We are women, after all, and we need to always be thinking about our skin and how to make it perfect. That’s why I choose to always cry on a silk pillow. I can cry safely on a pillow in a silk sheet because I know I won’t break out the next day. Not to mention, silk pillow cases are just another upgrade for my home goods. How rich am I?

CRY IT AT HOME!

Pick your favorite pillow, have a good cry, and let me know what you think! Good luck, everyone!

If you need me, I’ll be here

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